THAT SKYRIM IS REAL.
I actually have Stage-Four Vampirism, which would explain my abnormal hatred of the sun, my pale skin, and the fact that everyone seems to be out to get me.
My family is secretly part of the Dawnguard. Which explains why they all seem to hate me. My dad even owns a crossbow.
Which I plan on stealing.
I seem to be a descendant of my Skyrim characters. And due to the fact I have characters of every single race, well.
-BECAUSE OF MY KHAJIT BLOOD, I FEEL ODDLY ATTRACTED TO CATS, AND SPENT MY CHILDHOOD BOTH READING ABOUT THEM AND ROLEPLAYING AS A FELINE.
-BECAUSE OF MY ARGONIAN BLOOD, I GET AROUSED BY TOM HIDDLESTON’S VELOCIRAPTOR CALL.
-BECAUSE OF MY ELF BLOOD, I AM MISCHIEVOUS, CRAFTY, AND A SHARPSHOOTER IN ARCHERY.
-AND NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE HUMAN RACES, BECAUSE FUCK HUMANS.
-AND BECAUSE OF SKYRIM, I HAVE NO FRIENDS.
It’s as if Bethesda is creating actual history.
And soon, the government will reveal the construction of underground Vaults.
AND THEN FALLOUT HAPPENS.
EVERYTHING IS SO CLEAR NOW.